I arrived to the US in 2011, and since then, I realize my personality has changed. I was born in Mexico city, and although I understood english fully and was almost fluent, my oral and written expression are not completely 'loose' as they are in my native spanish. The fact that I take longer to express my ideas and construct my opinions, made my character less intense, less opinionated, less authoritarian and arrogant.
I became a listener, a sponge of all things new, stimulant and deep. I no longer have the first, nor the last word. I reflect before talking. I pause and breathe before opening my mouth. And I listen more. And perceive more. Due to my vocal handicap, my other senses overcompensate. Each new day is a hyper-stimulation of the sense for me.
So after a couple of years of softening my personality, I see that my internal 'essence' or character has changed. And the things that want to come out of me are more subtle, more wise, more healing. More thoughtfully embodied.
And so my body moves. Instead of words, my body expresses emotions and understanding. My presence reflects the integration of patterns and functions. My body awareness is a reflection of my internal comprehension of how ideas move inside of my head and around me. Of the order of priorities and development of each of the thoughts; of the values that I used to have by default, and the ones that I have now that are still changing. Of the fluidity of my character. Of my capacity to empty my sense of self and just let consciousness express itself.
As my primordial language is no longer the spoken word, my essence needs to communicate in other forms.
So I shall dance it all.