This winter, I was called to come to Berlin and share shamanism in a practical way, ancient tools for the modern lifestyle. As part of the philosophy incubator Wisdom Hackers, I co-created a 6-week curricula to sample different shamanic rituals to empower urban nomads with energy practices and creative meditations to feel grounded and in tune with our inner wisdom.
It is common through out my path that I am in a position of teaching what I need to learn. These practices are not something you get on a text book or learn them on a workshop, it's purely trusting the inner capacity that 'senses' what the group needs and how to stimulate in them an inquiry, an investigation of their imagination, of their embodied experience, a remembrance of a mystical state connected with nature, a nostalgia for magic, an utter respect to the message from the silence.
People were so receptive and I felt comfortable with following my gut and teaching from a place of pure intuition, as if it was an act of remembrance of a wisdom that existed inside of us from millennia back. Yet there was something inside of me that still made me a bit uncomfortable about the community that gravitated around shamanism. As if this natural human instinct to gravitate towards the unknown was kept at the superficial level, and many seemed to be sucked into the folklore or the psychedelic, instead of the actual transformation.
Organically, I started to relate more to the performance and dance scene in Berlin, where inside of the classes I was being prompted to investigate the depths of my sensory realms and my imagination, in a way I had sometimes experienced while on shamanic journeys and energetic trainings, only that this time, they didn't call it shamanism, they never even mentioned the word energy, and yet, I experienced deeply transformative moments of increased attention and a heightened states of presence.
I learned that we as humans have the capacity to create abstract linguistic and cultural constructs that define our behavior and our habits. And in this creative journey of self-understanding where we investigate the subtle realms, the invisible, the unknown, the essential, there is not one clear path. And so it is crucial to have discernment of what vibes with your heart and what is truly bringing insight and spiritual growth to your moment.
During my travels across Berlin and Brazil, I asked many questions online, and was open to respond to the signs presented to me, which felt like messages from the universe straight in the tip of my fingertips. Through social media, people I'd never met before, started to respond to my posts, sharing resources with me, links, books, podcasts and sending me beautiful messages that spoke to my heart and made me feel as if we've known each other for a long time and as if we were walking this road together. Even though I was alone in this trip, I actually never felt lonely.
Once, a woman shared a podcast with me: 'Shamanism Now, a path to authenticity'. I started listening to it and followed closely some of the exercises the author shares.
She spoke from a kind of wisdom that resonated in my veins. It brought a sort of earth-centered devotion that really helped me regain an authentic spiritual connection within.
It’s been over a year that I listen to her podcast. Some of the episodes have been really appropriate and directly influenced me, (others you can skip). Last summer solstice I followed her teachings and guided a fire ritual with another 10 people in Berlin. (Download the instructions here). On late june there was an episode that really made me break me into tears. The Art of Falling Apart.
There are these moments when we realize that the construct of life we have created to survive and to thrive is in and of itself the problem. Sometimes life will conspire with us and take, piece by devastating piece, everything from us.' from author Christina Pratt.
As you may know, I fell apart this year. I left everything behind. Due to fundamental differences, I separated from Carson my partner, distanced myself from the tech bubble mentality, and left the design company that we had built together. Ever since, I've had the gift to travel throughout the world, experience different communities and reconnecting with my deepest heart desires, learning to listen to what brings me joy and putting my life together slowly, piece by piece.
But mostly, it has been about dying. About letting go of all the false stories inside of myself, all the limiting beliefs that keep me from enacting my purpose and truly love and be loved, the shame and guilt imposed by our cultural conditioning, the conventional feminine / masculine roles inherited by our family… I’ve had to re-examine all that is really true to me and have the courage to separate myself from what didn’t.
This last episode gave some practical exercises to do, yet I was left with a slight angst and existential questioning. So, although is not really my style, I decided to write an email to the host asking about how to move on in this uncertain period of my life.
And she responded right away!! and launched on the day of my 30th birthday, an entire show to respond to my questions!!! And I feel the biggest gift will be to actually pass on this super valuable resources so you benefit from the really honest and relevant teachings this woman has co-created for us.Listen to her podcast response: Rising Up When Life Falls Apart
How do you rise up when you have lost more than you thought you had to lose? How do you avoid the contemporary pitfalls of falling into a deeper pit of depression, grasping for anything to make it look better than it is, or recreating a shiny new version of the same life you had before? We have to find an ignored inner self who stands between the Lost One who doesn’t know how to go forward and the Blissed One who just wants to stay in the flow.
So, I thought I’d share this part of the journey with you, because the more I share about this transformation process, the more I feel it becomes relevant and contributes to the greater transformation of our collective consciousness towards fully inhabiting our gifts as humans and live in love and in full integrity with the whole.
Enjoy and leave me a message to hear if this resonates with you in any way. I'd love to hear how your process has been.